November 28, 2001

I know there are so many of you who are feeling "in the dark" and want to know what in the world happened. I'll give you a quick overview: On the Saturday before Thanksgiving we had a wonderful morning. We all just stayed home together. There was no place we had to be and that is a rare thing for us. Levi wasn't feeling that great and wasn't hungry at all which was really different. In the early afternoon he threw up. We knew this was really bad and meant that the ventricles (which bring fluid from the spine to the brain) were swollen and blocking the flow. He was still coherent though so I was hoping maybe it was just a virus. I put on some shorts and a T-shirt and got in the tub with him and held him in my lap because he was "wobbly". Jeff went to get him a drink and Caleb and I were just talking to him. All of a sudden he said "Uh oh, Uh oh, I feel funny" and immediately stopped breathing. Caleb ran to get Jeff. We carried his sweet little limp body to the bed and were trying to get some sort of response out of him. He started to breathe off and on but very sporadically. He began to throw up again, and again. We were terrified. As I was on the bed holding him Jeff laid down (prostrate) on the floor and began to cry out to God. "Please Lord, have mercy on our son, Please God don't take him…" We called the ambulance and they were there in probably 3 minutes. They rushed him to Gwinnett Medical Center because it was the closest. Then they Life-Flighted him from there to Egelston Children's Hospital. We were so afraid. After this long eight month battle was it all over now? I was so weary from the constancy of the practical side of the "fight" but I would do it all over again and again if I was given the choice. My heart groaned to my heavenly Father prayers that I couldn't pray on my own. But in the midst of this long nightmare it was the deepest desire of our heart, soul and spirit to praise the Lord through it all. Even now when hope was so far away, He, in His kindness, brought me to a place of praise to Him. "Help us Lord, to praise you, no matter what happens today…"

Levi was in intensive care. In the next eight days we would "go places we did not want to go"…We had countless "meetings" with the doctors – sometimes 3 or 4 a day (I loved all the doctors but I hated the meetings because there was no good news). At one time we were told that Levi was doing so badly that they couldn't say that he would live the next 5 minutes. We had to make big (really big) decisions. We had to decide if we would resuscitate and gain a few more days maybe weeks or just release him into the hand of the Lord. We chose the latter. After much prayer we knew that we must completely "let go" and see the Lord do His work. But, we went boldly before His throne (as He has called us to do) and claimed His word for Levi's complete healing. We are not in denial. We are simply believing that our God is THE great physician and is more than able to bring complete renewal to Levi's body…

After meeting with the doctors on Saturday we decided to transport Levi home with no order to resuscitate. There was no reason to believe (naturally speaking) that Levi would live through the night. We told the hospital staff that it was our desire to get him to our house so he could die at home (and in no pain). It was a risk to transport… but in our hearts before the Lord of Life, our intention was to get him home to LIVE… to surround Him with the body of Christ, the elders, friends and family that believe that our God heals. As soon as we got home and in the house he turned blue and stopped breathing… But as this was happening people were coming in to pray. The elders came and anointed him with oil (in obedience to scripture) The Holy Spirit came… Levi started to breathe again. It has been touch and go but our house has been a revolving door of prayer. People come and go day and night lifting our little man up in powerful, believing prayer…

BUT THERE'S A GREATER MESSAGE THAT THE LORD HAS BROUGHT IN OUR SEEKING …AND IT'S FOR YOU, THE BODY OF CHRIST, THE TRUE CHURCH OF CHRIST OUR KING …SO LISTEN UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S GOOD STUFF.

There is a picture here that the Lord has given. Levi's body has a tumor, a cancer that is growing in him; it has, over the past eight months gained strength, taking over and weakening his sweet body. There is also a tumor/cancer that grows in the body of Christ. It too has gained strength and power. How? Because we have forgotten our first love. We have become "familiar" with His holiness. We have begun to think that we understand Him, that we know all there is to know of Him. We are prideful before an All Powerful, All knowing God and we are not afraid. "Woe to us"… The tumor in the "body" is complacency and boredom. We have not pursued Him. We only want the benefits but not the sacrifice. It is time to come humbly before God Almighty and repent, yeah that's right – repent. If we have an "attitude" toward that word we might want to "get over it" because that's where it's at. He is kind and gentle, wanting to bless us, He is above all things, above all the ways of men, above all kingdoms, above all wonders the world has ever known, all wealth and treasures of the earth. And He calls us to recognize our sinfulness before Him (repent) for one reason… So, He can embrace us and show us more of His goodness. Oh that we would be forever desperate for You, Lord. That you would be the air we breathe, that we would recognize that we are lost without You. That our satisfaction would be found in walking in Your Holy Presence. Oh Lord, help us, forgive us, heal us. Open the floodgates of Heaven and let it rain your healing. Righteousness and Justice are the foundation of Your throne, Oh Lord. Some day soon every knee will bow and every tongue confess that You, Jesus Christ are Lord! …Ahhhhh I love the thought of that.

In the last eight months we have seen God anew. It has been painful and even horrible. We have felt at times that we could not withstand a minute more …But we consider it all worth it if our Lord and Saviour Jesus has been exalted, if you have seen even a glimpse of Him through our frail humanness, if you have taken even one step closer to pursuing the "beautiful mystery" that is Him. We stand in our fatigue and weakness and shout that our God is an Awesome God, He reigns in Heaven above, all wisdom and power and glory are His. He is the worthy Lamb… No matter what the days ahead may hold… We will continue our quest for intimacy with the Father. We refuse to be denied the "Highest things of God."

Levi is opening his eyes, he is responding to questions by nodding his head (he cannot talk) he is moving his right arm and leg occasionally and breathing on his own with much help from an oxygen mask. There is not much more to tell. But we will keep you posted as the days go by. Please know that we are eternally grateful for each one of you and all you have done. Even if you just check the website every once in a while because you care. We are blessed just to know that you are interested. Please press on in prayer …the battle rages on… we love you.

"Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling. And to present you faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy…" (Jude 1:24)

jeff and jami

P.S. Please pray for Caleb, Jonah and Graci (and me) I miss them so terribly and want so badly to be with them, hold them, love them and cry with them but I can't right now and it's killing me.

November 26, 2001

It's Monday. We brought Levi home from the hospital via a transport ambulance yesterday. Finally!! He's home. The time at the hospital was extremely difficult. Hope was hard to keep. We would come before the Lord and ask for an extra measure of faith, we would feel His presence and strength but then we would have to have (another) meeting with the doctors. What a hard job they have. We would go over the facts and the facts are that naturally speaking Levi will not live. He will continue to deteriorate until he dies and that according to medicine will be soon, very soon (days). We would leave those "meetings" completely defeated. In my mind I would see him struggle for his last breath, I would try not to let my mind go there but the darkness was too strong.*

*Jami

We wept by his bedside very regularly all week long (8 days in ICU). The hard part was/is looking at the pictures of our kids together (cohesive), I cry now thinking about the perfect memories we have of our Levi. He now lays still, little response, in a hospital bed in our bedroom.

We chose to leave ICU early and to have home hospice care so that Levi could be at home in our home environment. For the sake of time now I must leave many details out about the friends we made with many of the staff there at Egleston ICU, but thank you for caring and pouring your hearts into Levi while he was there.

We came home Sunday at 1:30 with the urgent purpose of calling the elders of the church and anointing Levi with oil and praying over him in faith. James 5:14-15. We believe that God will raise him up.

From the time we started praying at 2:15 until now there has not stopped being intercessors in our house, even early hours of the night and morning. There is an urgency to see Levi healed and raised up. Even now there is intercessory prayer going on with pastors all over Atlanta here in our house CRYING OUT TO GOD. There is no time for grieving now, we are fighting for his life against the devil in agreement with GOD'S WORD THE BIBLE. We are claiming Psalms 118:17 for Levi's life - "I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of God".

Please fight with us and go to the Father for Levi's healing. Even come and pray if the Holy Spirit leads.

There is absolutely nothing that any man can do now to save Levi's life....and maybe that's why it has come all the way to this point 8 months later....so that God gets 100% of the glory.

We will update real soon.

Jeff

November 24, 2001

I just spoke with Jeff at the hospital, where they had just finished a meeting with the doctors and decided not to reintubate him when they remove the ventilator, even though they know (humanly speaking) Levi will most likely not be able to breathe on his own – the only "life-support system" they are interested in is the non-artificial one that God provides!

Right now they are making plans to get set up with hospice service, bring him home and have the elders anoint him with oil and pray over him; they are acting in obedient faith on the basis of the clear instruction and promise in God's own Holy Word (in James 5:14, 15). They are believing the promise that "the prayer of faith shall save the sick" and expecting the Lord to raise him up, as He said He would.

In Hi s hands,

Mel

November 23, 2001
New Urgent Prayer Request

Levi has been on a respirator for the past week. This evening they removed the respirator which was a traumatic and life-threatening event. He is now on a ventilator which is intended to enable him to make the transition to breathing on his own - but he's not there yet. Please pray that God would give him the ability to breathe on his own very soon so that he will not have to be re-intubated (respirator reinserted). This would, in effect, be acknowledging defeat, because it would mean he could only breathe normally with the help of a machine.

Also, please remember Levi's parents, Jeff & Jami and the extended family, that God would wrap His arms of love around each one and give them rest, wisdom, strength and peace.

Grandaddy's personal note -

I see this as a spiritual battle. Levi is the battlefield. The enemy clearly wants to destroy him because he knows something about Levi's future ministry that we don't know, and he has had some success over the past eight months, and particularly over this last week as Levi has been on life-support (the doctors are giving him only days at best). But I believe God wants to use him - more than He already has. I could be wrong but I have this strong recurring mental picture of the enemy attacking him and the "good guys" (angels) defending him - but only while there is sufficient prayer support. I'm thinking of Exodus 17:11-12:

"And it came to pass, when Moses held up his hand, that Israel prevailed: and when he let down his hand, Amalek prevailed. But Moses’ hands were heavy; and they took a stone, and put it under him, and he sat thereon; and Aaron and Hur stayed up his hands, the one on the one side, and the other on the other side; and his hands were steady until the going down of the sun".

I really think the Lord wants to train us all to be better prayer warriors, "…For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." - Eph. 6:12.

If this picture represents what's really going on in the unseen world, then would you join us in asking the Father to strengthen the hands of the front-line troops, those mighty angels of God, that they may completely vanquish the enemy and rescue Levi from certain death, that God would restore him to perfect health, and that he would be protected from further physical problems so he could grow up to become the man of God he is destined to be. This vision keeps me motivated. Maybe it will help you too.

Thank you so, so much for loving and praying for Levi. I am convinced God is doing more than we know through his young life as he and his family continue this struggle.

Mel Guinn

November 22, 2001
Thanksgiving Day

Wow. This is a day like no other.....I am in my favorite place.... the secret place that my Father calls me to. I need this place like never before. I come here to beg for the strength to continue in this battle for the life of my precious little man. When I stay at the hospital too long without coming out to be alone, completely alone with the Lord I become angry (very, very angry). Yesterday the nurses came in to suction his lungs out. They stick a tube down his ventilator and kinda "vacuum" out his lungs. His face showed anguish and tears were rolling down his face into his ears. I was so angry at God. How much more must he endure? The doctors were trying to get a response from his brain so they shot ice water into his ears..... nothing. He didn't even flinch. Oh God have mercy..... anger blew through me. Jeff and I prayed that the Lord would give me some kind of vision, some kind of something to help me go on in this. I am at the point of giving up, letting go. But I can't. I must hope. I must. How could I give up. His own mother giving up.....shame on me......This morning when I woke up the Lord was generous and gave me a picture in my fragile mind. A vision of a lion mauling a child (I assume it was a representation of my little man). If a literal lion were attacking my "man" would I give up and just say "Oh well, he's a gonner...." or would I run after the lion kicking, punching, searching for some sort of a weapon for that particular battle? YES!! I would not walk away. I would continue to fight. This is a battle like no other. The Lord has an incredible plan for Levi's life and the "Lion" is afraid of it. It must be a really big plan. He is not easily loosening his grip. I know the world or even those believers of little faith will mock us or even think we're "overboard" on this "hope thing".

Please join us in fighting in the spiritual realm. Please don't give up. Please, press on with us. The doctors say 2 days to a week is all he has left but claim with us that our God does not submit to the limitations of time and medical predictions. Our God is a passionate and merciful God, longing to "romance" us by healing Levi. We will take today and not look to tomorrow. We are eternally grateful for the 5 "sweet Novembers" we've been given but we confess we are greedy and will ask for more and more. We pray that Levi will soon say. "I WILL NOT DIE BUT LIVE. AND WILL PROCLAIM WHAT THE LORD HAS DONE." Psalm 118:17.

More desperate than ever for the"saints" of God to boldly join us....... jeff and jami

November 20, 2001

Please join us in fervent prayer!

As I come before the Lord with a tormented soul today…I claim these verses and ask that you would come along with us in prayer for the "little man" today. 1 Kings 17:17-24, Luke 18:1-8, Oh Lord, would you not bring about justice for your chosen ones? Will You not honor our persistent quest for healing? We come before you day and night with pain, anguish and wailing in our souls. Guide us in your truth, show us your ways. Draw near to us because we are drawing near to You… we humble ourselves in Your sight… we will lift up Your name…

"THE FATHER USES HUNGER BORN OUT OF DESPERATION TO WEAN US FROM THE WORLD AND MAKE US ADDICTED TO HIM"
It is true—we see this world has nothing for us. It is useless to us. Come along with us and see that the Lord is good… Please come to the throne of mercy and grace on our behalf, please be persistent in your cries to Him that He would allow us to have our "little man" a little longer. With a holy tenacity we say along with Jacob, "We will not let go of Him until He blesses us." …In the end may we "come forth as gold" (Job 23:9-12).

jeff and jami

As the two updates of November 18th indicated, Levi was admitted to Egleston Children's Hospital on Saturday in critical condition. He has been in ICU since then. Yesterday (Monday) afternoon the doctors made it clear that they believed Levi had less than a week to live. Needless to say that brought a heaviness to Jeff and Jami and the rest of us around them.

But after letting it sink in for awhile as we all silently kept watch over him, while trying to console one another, the secret feelings – first of Jami, then of Jeff and finally, one by one, of other family members and friends – began to pour out as prayers of desperation. For the next hour or so (we lost track of time), as we all drew closer to the heart of God, the Holy Spirit seemed to be coaching us how to pray: more and more our desperate cries began to blossom into expressions of confident trust in our faithful, loving God. It was powerful – the Lord seemed to be pleased with our earnest petitions to preserve Levi's life from the vicious attacks of the Destroyer.

Afterward, his blood pressure – the second, lower number (diastolic) – which had dropped down into the danger zone only minutes before, was now normal! He moved his leg, then his arm, then in response to questions, nodded his head and partially opened his eyes, which for months had been badly crossed but now were looking normal! These were all very encouraging signs. We believe – now more than ever – that God wants to use Levi in some important way, and that the enemy does not want that to happen.

I think one of the lessons we need to take out of this is, since "…the effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much" (James 5:16), God is patiently waiting for us to participate in accomplishing the wonderful things He already wants to do in our midst, so the world will see and give Him the glory and humbly bow before Him and, placing their trust in Jesus, receive the Gift of God – eternal life. But He insists on waiting for us to join Him in this Master Plan by first praying – fervently; not to twist His arm to do something He's reluctant to do, but to get us involved in the process for our ultimate good. What an amazing God!!

Thank you for participating in this way on behalf of my grandson, Levi and his mother and father. Please, don't let up!

Mel Guinn

10:00 PM [The previous (hastily written) report below needs a few corrections and additions, namely 1) it was Egleston Children's Hospital, not Emory; 2) his condition this morning included a very low oxygen level requiring heavy respiration, 3) in addition to the fluid in his lungs, he was unable to eliminate]
After church today, two of our precious prayer warriors, Jacquie Tyre and Barbara Johnson, headed for the hospital armed with the Word and faith in the God of the impossible. They asked Jeff to read from 1 Kings 17:17-24, then prayed over him with this passage as a model and anointed him with Frankincense oil while Jacquie sang to the Lord. Shortly after this, the nurses came back into the room to find Levi's oxygen level had started to improve, he had had a major bowel movement (a real stinker according to Jeff!) and the fluid in his lungs was all gone! This really surprised the nurses! What a turning point it was! Jeff and Jami are convinced this was ordained of the Lord, and are much encouraged and refreshed by His obvious answer to prayer. Take a moment to review the prayer strategies Jacquie has offered , based on this experience. Thank you Barbara and Jacquie! …and thank all of you who have been faithfullly lifting up Levi all these months.

Granddaddy Mel

1:50 PM (see above for corrections)
Yesterday Levi went into what appeared to be a coma. Jami called 911; the paramedics and fire truck were there in minutes and transported him to the nearest hospital, where they decided to "Life-Flight" him to Emory. There he got a CAT scan, which indicated no change since the previous one (good news). They say he did not slip into a coma, but are theorizing other causes for the loss of normal body functions. Presently (1:50 PM) Levi is in intensive care and considered critical, he has fluid in his lungs and needs help in breathing.

Please petition God to raise him up by His mighty ressurection power, and receive glory beyond anything we've ever seen! And pray for strength for Jami and Jeff.

Thank you

November 16, 2001

It's been 5 "sweet Novembers" since the Lord first lent us our little man. The day of his birthday was not that great though. He wasn't feeling very well, and was having one of those "seizure days." (About a week ago he was incoherent, his responses were delayed by about 3 seconds and he would look right through you, we found out later that those are little seizures that sometimes last 2 hours.) About two weeks before his birthday he made a comment to me that makes me believe his "big day" was a disappointment to him: I said, "Are you excited about your big #5 birthday?" He said, "Yeah, because I won't have this (pointing to his broviac tubes)." I had to be the bearer of bad news and tell him that the tubes would have to stay. His bottom lip poked out and his shoulders fell in huge disappointment. For some reason he thought that since it was his birthday we would take out the broviac and he would be "done" with it, he would be "regular" (in Caleb's words) again. Oh how I wished and dreamed. But the battle goes on, it is no respecter of "special days."

Levi loves to watch himself on home videos, so we watched some. I was not prepared for the rush of emotion that came with it. Watching him play and be silly in his "other" body. It was so weird, I missed him and his old body more than ever. He looked in excitement at the TV and said, "Hey, that's when my arm was 'on'". That day/moment sparked a wrestling match between God and me. It's been about 3 days of total torment. The pain, anguish, sorrow and weariness that is in my heart could never find appropriate expression. For 2 days I wouldn't talk to HIM. I was angry that He would not take this from us. Why? How much longer? I am so weary of the "on and on-ness" of it. I have believed that I was created to be God's "friend", to enjoy Him, to find satisfaction in Him and His ways… but the last three days I have given Him the cold shoulder (I did NOT turn my back on Him but I toiled, argued and gritted my teeth at Him). I wanted to fight, kick, punch, yell, scream and spit. I had a "Jacob moment." I am still so weak and tattered from the match. But our relationship (the Lord and I) is on it's way to a new depth that can only come from "dukin' it out", from honesty and transparency, however brutal it may be …my "hallelujah's" are weak and muted today. I am broken, turned inside out, desperate, I can't understand all that He allows, I just can't see the reason, but my life is in His hands and though I can't see Him I choose to trust Him. Even though my heart is torn I will praise Him. Even though I feel deserted, I will praise Him. Even in the darkest valley. My world is shattered and it seems all hope is gone. We will trust You in our loneliness. How could we be worthy to carry His name if we didn't trust Him in times of great darkness? Is this a preparation for the days ahead when our faith will be tested far beyond what we can imagine now? We will not forget that You hung on a cross, that You bled and died for us… that if we join You in Your suffering we will also join You in the blessings…

When there's something on TV that I think would be too hard for my children to see I quickly cover their eyes so that their minds and hearts would not have to bear something that would harden them. I sometimes wish the Lord would put His hand over my eyes… I don't want to see it. This is hard to watch, my son's body swelling, his face paralyzed on the left side, unable to walk, run, play, see. Everywhere we go people stare at him (and he definitely notices)… oh Lord, turn it off. It's a bad show and my heart and mind are too fragile and young to bear it… but it goes on and on… He leaves it on… why? I don't know. But I still choose Him in this. Oh that He would reign in us in our darkest hour.

In my psychological and spiritual breakdown, the wrestling match to beat all… Jeff has proven to be my "knight in shining armor." When I would call him (and I did, way more than just a few times) and say "I can't do it today, it's too much…I'm falling apart…" He would drop everything and come home to help me, listen to me yell at God, watch me throw things, kick things and hold me while I sobbed uncontrollably. He had no idea what he was getting into on that day he said "I do." He has truly seen the best and worst and still, miraculously chooses to stay [smile]. The Lord knew I needed such a man for such a time as this and I praise Him for that.

I hope this update and the reality of the battle didn't scare you away. Truth really stinks sometimes, doesn't it? The truth is… life is hard, sometimes unbearable; people get sick, people die, evil is rampant, there is a devil and he hates you and me… but the other side of truth is that there is a God who can handle it all…

jami

November 5 , 2001

Today Levi is doing fairly well. Yesterday he was very lethargic. Last night we were playing a board game and he just stared at me the whole time, as if he were looking right through me. We stopped the game and prayed over him. Jonah prayed first, "Lord, would you heal Levi and make him better soon? will you make his tumor go away?" Caleb prayed, "Lord, would you make Levi 'regular' again? Help him to be able to run and play baseball again? Make him better, please. amen." Wow, I couldn't have said it better myself. The last couple of days have been hard for us. We've just been sad. I mean what else can you be but sad when you watch your four year old boy struggle to eat, go to the bathroom, play a game. Everything is difficult for him. Yesterday Graci had a new pink dress on with white tights and black patent leather shoes. She looked down at herself and said, "Mommy, I look beautiful today, I want to dance." Then she turned and looked at Levi and said, "Levi, I want to dance with you." Usually, Levi would have been so excited about the offer. But this time he looked at her with an irritated smirk and said "I can't dance, I can't walk." But then she couldn't understand him so she had to say "what?" about 3 times. Needless to say he was in tears by the end of that conversation.

He is so heavy and swollen. I feel like I'm missing out on him growing up because he's growing up in a bubble and I can't see him. If he ever does recover and lose all this weight I will still have missed out on so much of his growing up. And then I reprimand myself and say, "Quit being so greedy... you should be grateful for any time you get with him." Some days I miss his old face and his old body. I look at pictures and mourn. But then other times I think of how much I will miss his chubby little face. When I pick him up (which is getting harder and harder at 63 lbs. now) and he is so smushy and soft I think I will miss that too. Then I think, "Oh Lord If you take him I will miss 'both' of him, the old 'little' Levi and the new 'chubby' Levi. I can't bare the thought of it. I am split in two. I can't stand to see him live this way and pray that you {Jesus} would take him soon so that he would be free from this misery". But then quickly I take it back and selfishly say "NO!" "I can't live without him". It is hard, this new life, but I'll take it over the option of not having him here. How did I get to this place of bartering, in my mind, for the life of my son? As if God makes deals. I know my heavenly Father is love and His heart breaks as He watches us fumble around in the dark learning to trust, learning not to depend on what we see in the light but what we know to be true in our hearts regardless of the cruel darkness. I know He longs to show the whole picture to us but He must wait. He is doing something. He has a plan and we must trust that it is good. In some ways trusting is harder than ever because so much is at stake. But in other ways it is easier to trust because He has never been anything but faithful. We are learning that this is not a sprint but a marathon. A friend (John Shultis) gave us a book called "A Long Obedience In The Same Direction." The title speaks for itself. We are learning that it's the long battles, the hardest things in life that make life worth living. It is not for the "strong" it's for the weak at heart like us that can do nothing but fall into the strength of the Father. Beth Moore says, "We cannot choose whether or not we will have fire in our lives but we can choose whether or not we will be refined by it."

jeff and jami

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